The House of NJE

Sunday, February 26, 2012

How 1 year can change your life....

The title is major understatement......

One Year...2 major losses....wounds that never heal.....

Aug. 15, 2010: Noah was in an accident down at Ute Lake.
8pm while leaving the mall with Brandon and Thomas I get a phone call from Abby Salter saying Noah was in an accident. I have Brandon call my dad and tell him because I cant. I have to tell my mom the news....The next few hours are HELL!!
12:15am Aug 16, 2010 I get a call from Nerissa. She tells me Noah didn't make it....I go blank and part of me dies...I don't remember driving to Lubbock or getting to the Hospital.
I see Noah bandaged up and lose it.....We go to Vanessa's house to stay the night....I don't sleep...I don't eat. I awake early in the morning and I hear a voice and think its Noah...It was my dad making phone calls...I call Sharon...I don't eat breakfast...We drive home.....This starts the hardest week of my life....
The next week is a blur of people coming and going all day, telling us how sorry they are to hear of our loss and that its going to be OK....Not exactly the words I wanted to hear that week. As far as I was concerned life was far from OK.....
Noah came home to Amarillo on Monday and that set off a chain of events for his funeral service. Nerissa and I were involved every step of the way. Trying to stay strong for mom and dad was easy while picking out things for the service. I saw and witnessed things I thought I never would and I pray I never will again.....

The week of Noah's funeral passes like a blur and nightmare rolled into one. I don't remember much and what I do remember hurts too much to think about....

11 months later....So much has happened life carried on like it always does. School started back in right after Noah's accident and I went back the first day. I think I needed it more for the routine but looking back I should of stayed home for another week instead of going to work. Mom and Dad stayed home for almost a month before returning to work. Nerissa had to go back to Lubbock. As the school year went on life got a little easier to deal with at work....Home was a different story. There was so much around me that reminded me of Noah and it was hard to deal with.

May rolls around and I get a call from my mom and I missed it. I check my voicemail and its to tell me that Mammaw had a stroke. This in turn set off another chain of events for Summer of 2011. Mom calls to tell that they are airlifting Mammaw from the farm to Amarillo. I get to the hospital and find out that they switched routes and are moving Mammaw to Lubbock. Mom and Dad hightail to Lubbock and the call gets made to Nerissa. She meets Mom and Dad at the Hospital. We find out Mammaw had a massive stroke at the farm and had a smaller one while in route to the hospital.

After about a week or so Mammaw is brought back home and is put into a nursing home. She cant speak and can hardly write what she's feeling or thinking. She does manage to write I Love You to mom and I. She shook her hand at me and gave me a look when Mom asked her if I needed a haircut. Some last good memories of Mammaw before it went bad. In about the middle of June things took a turn for the worse. Mammaw was back and forth to the doctors and then it got bad about the first of July. Mammaw was moved to Hospice and we were told that she wouldn't be there for more than a few days. 10 days later and she left this world to go be with Noah and Pappaw. That was July 14th; 11 months after Noah.
While with Mammaw at Hospice the whole family gathered to say their good byes and I love yous. We heard a lot of great stories about her life growing up, a lot of great stories about our parents growing up and a lot of great stories of our own childhoods. Aunt Wren was a wealth of stories I'd never heard about Mammaw and Pappaw. So needless to say some good did come out of that week. Some family bonds were made even stronger and some were destroyed but in the end every one showed who they really were and some surprised us.

One funny thing did happen at Mammaws funeral...
I thought Mom and Dad were going to KILL me and sister. While they were playing And He Walks with Me. I could of SWRON I heard Noah! He was there to provide some much needed comic relief...
I could hear him saying "Andy He Scores!" When Noah was younger and he was playing Soccer he was always saying he was going to change his name to Andy so he and everyone watching would hear Andy (And He) Scores....

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Life Style Changes.....

Ok...So I found this little treasure and I instantly thought....That is SO me....(Yes feel free to insert what ever jokes you would like.)

As most of you know I LOVE TO BAKE. In fact Nerissa sent me a Red Velvet Cupcake receipe in the mail (Thank You Sister!!) I got it yesterday and I cant wait to try it out. Oh on the subject of cupcakes. A few weeks ago I made some Chocolate Red Wine Cupcakes with a Red Wine and Marscopone Cheese frosting and I also made some Coconut Lime Cupcakes with a White Chocolate Lime Buttercream Frosting....OH MY GOSH!!! They were to die for! WOW....So now that Ive made them once I can't wait to make them again and play with the receipes a bit.....I'll share later on once I really get them down....

The one word I really dont like....The one thing I've been on since the year started....

So at the start of the year I jumped on the scale and then just about passed out. I had reached a number I had only seen in my nightmares....200...AHHH!!!

So began my quest to lower that number....Thats when I discovered the App, My Fitness Pal. This app is the devil. You put in what you eat and it tells you how many calories its worth....So needless to say I've been keeping a food journal thanks to this app and its now to the point that if I dont want to write it down I dont eat it...I have also cut out snacking, this was hard, I'm a fat kid who likes to eat...I LOVE FOOD. Its just food doesnt love me that it used too.....

So I started back to the gym. There are times I really dont like being there because of the meat heads (The BIG guys who go every day for hours) I have started calling them Gorillas...

Now I'm not kidding with this picure...there are some guys who look like this and I have to laugh at them..I mean really...But its also this type of guy that makes me self conscious or more intimidated by these guys. I watch them lift weights and think to myself I will never be able to do that...Then I think I dont want to be that big. I want to be toned....

Ok enough of the gorillas....Since this journey has began. I have lost about 15.5 pounds in 6 weeks. Not bad. So I'm down to 184.5. I jumped all over the house when I weighed in and saw that number. My goal weight is 175. That is only 10 pounds more than what I weighed when I graduated high school 10 years ago. I mean 175 isnt a bad number. I'm 30 years old and 5'10.5". I think it works. I hope to reach this goal by spring break. That is in one month....When I reach this goal that is 25 pounds in 10 weeks....I CAN DO THIS....

Saturday, February 5, 2011

I have no clever title...

Ok so on Facebook there is the thing where is 31 days of pictures....Well I dont have the patience to do it for 31 days so here it is all at once.....

Day 01- Ten facts about myself